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The first thing you need is someone to help you seek out like-minded girls—a lesbian wingwoman.

Perhaps you have a lesbian officemate or classmate, or you happen to see one in the bar or coffee shop you always go to. [Read: How to stop obsessing about that one perfect date] #2 Go out of your comfort zone. These days, there are tons of social media sites dedicated to the lesbian community.

[Read: 20 speedy signs your relationship is moving too fast] #6 Who asks who?

And even if you don’t intend to date her again, at least have manners for your own sake.

[Read: 15 big lesbian myths you probably still believe] #11 Listen well.

Women, no matter what their preferences are, appreciate a good conversation. Just because you’re comfortable with your date doesn’t mean you have to mouth off everything that has happened to you since childhood and what made you come out of the closet, etc.

It can be a little intimidating at first, it feels like you’re in a whole new territory dominated by veteran lesbians who seem to easily get all the girls.

While it’s hard enough to come out of the closet and be gay in this cold, hetero world, there will be one person *or two* who will gladly and oh-so-lovingly welcome you into their arms.

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If you’re frequenting the same bars and parks you go to and have a hard time finding a lesbian date, then it clearly means you’re just running around in circles. And you won’t feel so embarrassed or chastised for approaching another woman. As a newly out lesbian, this is no time to be prim and smug.

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  1. Our introduction socials, staged by A Foreign Affair, have one of the largest women-to-men ratio in the industry, and all are privately held in a comfortable environment.