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In April I learned I had stage II prostate cancer, and after questioning experts and survivors, I've decided surgery is the way to go. This brew then proceeds to your prostate, which tops it off with enzymes, citric acid, and zinc before your man milk is propelled out of your body and into hers with rather pleasant smooth-muscle contractions.

Now, almost 2 years later, I'm not going to say, "Thank god they caught it in time... Blah blah blah blah." No, what I'm thinking is more along the lines of: I want my prostate back. The size of a golf ball, it's tucked away under your bladder, biding its time until you and your reproductive system decide to emit the sacred seed.

And, establishing eye contact for the first time, he said, "You really need to have that checked out." When I returned home I had another PSA test. The letters stand for a protein produced by the prostate.

When PSA was first identified, the prostate appeared to be its only source, but it has even been detected, albeit in smaller amounts, in women. When your prostate is healthy, PSA is mostly contained within it, but if there is trouble in the tissue, more PSA can leak into the blood.

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I'm knocked out on an operating table and a robot is removing my prostate gland. Then the semen assembly line kicks in: The sperm swim up from your testicles to the seminal vesicles, and there they are mixed in a happy bath of fructose, vitamin C, and prostaglandins.

In 2009, it caused an estimated 27,360 deaths — long, slow, embattled deaths, as the cancer spread beyond men's prostates to nearby bones, notably their spines.

They all underwent a prostate biopsy — and cancer was found in 449 of them, or 15.2 percent.That's right: nanogram, as in one-billionth of a gram.As it turns out, the common threshold of 4 nanograms per milliliter is rather arbitrary.My internist did that for me in the summer of 2007, as part of a regular physical. The results showed mildly troubling cholesterol — but a very troubling PSA number.Standards in place at the time held that it should be less than 4; some evidence has suggested that it should be less than 2.5 if you're younger than 50. My doctor sent me to a urologist, who suspected that my high number was caused by a prostate infection.

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