Ten rules for dating my sister

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

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